Short, sweet, real, reading.....
Most people whom seek out help, have had a seriously tough life. I don’t want to throw in the feel sorry for ourselves pitch fork. Can we please start by giving ourselves a pat on the back for surviving. I choose out of my freedom of self expression, to be one of those people that expresses my pain and my joys. We are taught that it’s not ok to be angry and cry. The first thing people say when we are emotional?
‘Are you ok, what’s wrong?’
Why would there be anything ‘wrong‘ with me if I’m crying? Yeah it hurts. Yes I need a hug, but isn’t it better to express our emotions than roll up in a curling ball at home and cry ourselves to sleep all alone? come on now? Would you rather bury them underneath the already tight belly and hold your breath and pressure yourself until it blows up in an uncontrollable, ‘fuck you’?
Being passive aggressive, is one of those survival structures. Our very worth of living is to be loved by others. If we are not loved we basically fall apart at the very fabric of survival. For without love and acceptance we don’t get to live.
Look at the people around us? People feel like they are constantly walking on egg shells ready to explode, that banked up fizzy bottle with a lid of acid, they are holding onto.
I have compassion for passive aggressive behaviour, trying to be desperately loved and also deliberately bursting people‘s bubble. It’s safer to weave through; whom will act out in anger and whom won’t.
Passive aggressive, is scared of the frozen people.
So the solution?
and it is a behaviour modification as well as self acceptance.
The passive aggressive, little terrified child inside, needs to be held and understood. These individuals are the burden holders and feel responsible for others suffering. A strategy we take on from deeply narcissistic parents. It’s easier to be passive than be direct with a narcissistic person whom attacks at the very thought of being wrong or having any idea of self reflection.
My shoulder burden holder, would like to punish myself in feeling bad for doing something so wrong.
The pain was there underneath the rib cage, of holding on, as she wept and removed another self loathing sword of feeling responsible for hurting others, an innate reaction to a life long response to be loved.
My Yoga practice in Triangle Asana then moved into a smooth letting go, and my rib cage cracked.
Stepping back for a moment and acceptimg that people are afraid of being emotionally exposed; it‘s not safe.
I and you, assuming you didn’t grow up in a healthy nurturing supportive of our emotions world?
All our trauma get‘s mixed up in a bag of trying to be the helper of fixing others and wanting to change the world.
We want the best for others and hide it under the guise of reaching your optimal potential.
Time and time again, we seek out to break the patterns that causes suffering. We would like to think for a moment people can sought out there own dilemmas. Which we all can.
There is a BUT there.
The world is not exactly doing to well at the moment. Change can only happen out of Denial patterning.
Where we are able to hold in acceptance.
From a learning Yogi....
My imperfections are my ally to open to the new....
THE CRYSTAL FOR DENIAL IS RHODOCROSITE IN MY HANDS.....
are you ready to change?